Grotesque Ethereal

In full sunlilght

Indirect light

The previous version of this painting was so ugly it nearly had me stuck aesthetically, so I am glad I can now accurately call it "Grotesque Ethereal" and move to a more abstract space of disruption when I experience it. (Living with the former version of this painting about did me in. I made myself leave it on the wall before moving it out to the studio but even knowing it was there bothered me. Cody made a hilarious comment about it looking like a 1980's bedspread which made living with it at least humorous.)

Again, what I am trying to convery is that the ugly (or grotesque) is not just aesthetic. The grotesque is part of being human. It has a place in existence. With this painting I am not only proving to myself I can hold this disrupted space, I am also hoping to prove it is worth holding. Maybe I will find beauty in it? Or maybe this space will heighten the beauty around me? This concept is important to me because I think to deny ugly's existence must be like existing in a world with only halftones.

Incidentally (or not really) I added only two colors over the top of this painting, one of which is Cadmium Yellow. Cadmium colors are the richest of the rich in terms of pigments that I use. This oil paint lays down like pure, rich light on the canvas.

Originally I hung the painting like this. Now I like the forms that emerge when it's hung sideways more.

EDIT: Someone just wisely asked me, "Why does it have to be ugly or beautiful? Why can't it just be experienced?" ...and that is why I need her in my life.