I already mentioned what a crazy year 2015 has been so far.
Did I mentioned I almost broke a few weeks ago? It was one of the times I failed at maintaining peace and joy through a hard time. I actually felt hopeless. I believe my exact mumbled-through-snotty-tears-ugly-cry-words were, "It feels like I'm stuck on a treadmill and there's no paydirt." I think it was a combination of exhaustion on all fronts, no studio time, stress and paralysis about paying my taxes.
Cody knew what I needed to perk back up. Last Tuesday night he called me and told me to get home. He surprised me with tickets to Fleetwood Mac. Excitement took over reason and I completely fell into the experience. It was so sacred, we didn't even take our cameras/phones in. After years of not having a complete band, they happened to all come right to Wichita...and I wasn't going to go? Was it ever amazing! I cried and smiled and death-gripped Cody's hand through the first three songs (you can imagine the energy of these 5 great players taking the stage together again)---and then all the way through the song Everywhere (below).
I used to swim at the public pool in Algonquin (my house was within walking distance straight south of the pool on S Vista Dr) while this song played. It was a crazy time to be growing up---lots of trauma and Trauma while I lived there. I do remember spending a lot of time in and under the water, and that this song would knock the pause into me. It was magical. It was huge. It sent me into some sort of transcendental, glorious alpha-space...and I was always in water while I heard it.
Hearing Fleetwood Mac play live was such a healing, dream come true. The crazy thing is, I did not realize its importance. I was so caught up in paying taxes I told myself I did not need the experience. Luckily Cody knows me better than I know myself. I almost missed one of my life's top moments because of a temporary set-back. And this is why it's important for me to document this: the very next day---THE VERY NEXT DAY---I opened my online banking to see that BC/BS had finally paid me for the first time ever, and all the money I needed to finish paying my taxes was deposited while I was at the show.
Major career and clinical milestone. Check.
Taxes. Check.
Today is a gift. Be present.
2 comments:
Wow! Congratulations for finally seeing your favorite band. I guess we shouldn't really stress ourselves too much about these taxes, because it will surely be settled in any way. But I'm happy that you've managed to do the required paperwork ahead of time. And also, thanks to Cody for giving you an escape which helped you to temporarily forget about all of those tax hassles. Have a great day, Melanie!
Tracy Frazier @ Sunnen Law Bankruptcy Firm
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