Wordy-words about my next painting series/process

I have been doing lots of meditating on (and some experimenting) with a new painting process I am excited to begin. Having long been fascinated with the marbled end papers in my antique books, I have wanted to really marble for some time. It takes all kinds of patience and special materials to figure this out. (Cody even made a trip to the butcher's for me. That is love.) Sure, versions of marbling can be done with fabric softener (we did this in Art Honors Society at NWHS) but not match up to the real thing. I did a bit of it when I sold the mandala paper packets.

With real marbling, I love the colors, the serendipitous creative process, the movement, the imperfection, the involvement of water, etc. I do not love that these beautiful moments are shelved in books or simply discarded as ephemera. So, I am excited to marble on canvas for my next series of paintings. I believe I will still be using resist and a brush---but I will be starting with (under layer) whatever is lifted off of the water.

Why now? Last week was terrible. We had to put our sweet ten year old dog Penny down. I am a different person than I was last time I grieved the loss of anyone. I carried and buried Penny's body the day after she was put to sleep. Why would I do that? I loved her body while she was here---her soft fur, her wet nose. I risked loving an animal---I am feeling the loss of my dog within my own body and I am okay with that.

Throughout this grief process, I am noticing I am more connected to the human experience (square/immanence). I have always been connected to the spiritual experience (circle/transcendence)---almost to the detriment of the human side of myself. I thought it was the spiritual thing to do. I never even knew detriment in that form could happen. ...but what if I believe "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." Do I dream so hard of heaven while I am on earth that I forget to be present while I am here? Shouldn't I experience and share beauty now? What does it look like when I connect with both circle and square in a more balanced way?

To me, it looks like the paintings that are in my head---and ready to come out on canvas as soon as I get everything in order. Thursday will be the day I actually create the first layer of the the first painting in the series. I'm so excited. (Some marbling I did on Saturday.)

Yesterday while reading my favorite magazine, I came across a new-to-me painter: Dee Ferris. Ahhhh-may-zing, right? It reminds me of the things I like most about my own recent paintings. The way her gallery described her work: "Presenting mere glimpses of her subjects, Ferris conceives painting as a platform for ambient communication: nebulous brushwork conveys the delicacy of heartfelt longing; her chimeric narratives are hinted through distant vaporous vignettes. Using the tropes of melodrama, Dee Ferris’s paintings drip with an over the top sentimentality. Transcending kitsch, Ferris wittily uses cliché to describe emotional absolutes, validating the gushy and saccharine as genuine sensation."

Sounds about right.