Saturday, August 3, 2013

Short-lived Vulnerability Hangover Leads to This Heroine's Revelation About Her Journey

Today I drew my personal MARI Mandala (the the Jungian based psychological assessment tool I have recently been licensed to administer) in downtown Wichita...in front of lots of people. There are only about 25 people in Wichita who might be able to assimilate some of it, so I really wasn't too worried about anyone going straight to the depths of my psychological soul. Only one person I didn't know stopped to ask me what I was drawing, and technically he didn't stop, he was drawing on the "Featured Artist" space next to me.

Where there are crowds of people, there are Meta-narratives and cultural narratives. We can't help but look with our own lenses. Symbols and colors mean different things to different people. Personal experience with, brainwashing, or levels of curiosity form our beliefs about specific symbols. I know that such beliefs can be automatic, sometimes unconscious and even subconscious.

Still, I was surprised at how many sideways glances I received while drawing today. I even heard the word "Mystic" muttered, a term which I find flattering, yet it was definitely not spoken with kind intent. Big deal, so I put a blue star in a circle? I think it looks like an abstract version of Michelangelo's Perfect Man. To me, it says, "Here I am, God." "I am ready!" "I am a star in God's heaven!" Viewed from the other side of my drawing, some might say it looks occultist, or satanic, referring to what they know to be true about pentagrams. (Go ahead, click on the link...I promise your hand won't start burning. Scroll down and you will see several examples of cultures and religions who have "claimed" the symbol throughout history.)
 
I was unable to finish my drawing. Too hot and tired. And I don't even really like it. Next time I will plan better.
Even ancient symbols like the rainbow are still seen through a narrow, cultural lens. One lady saw Chloe's drawing with rainbow hair, grabbed her daughter's arm and walked away saying something like, I don't know why they let gays draw like that here. Really?!? Wake up and widen your brain, lady! Your world could be so much richer! You are missing out on more than I can mention, including my beautiful daughter who loves prismatic light and happens to NOT be gay! I will never tell her to avoid rainbows because people like you might rule her out. I also promise not to encourage her to draw rainbows so people like you can be avoided altogether.

When thoughts strike me while looking at symbols or considering other forms of art, I ask myself lots of questions. Why is that the first thing that came to mind? From where might that thought originate? What is my meaning and what other meanings might there be?  Do I want to privilege my own meaning?  What does this say about me? Might this say more about me than its original intent? These types of conversations are exactly why I look at symbols and other forms of art which stand the test of time.

Today I drew for Youthville. If I stirred a few hearts, so be it. I would not have been given this lens without special provisions to carry it.

 

 



Me and my Coco.


2 comments:

Julie said...

Oh, my. It was so hot out there yesterday! I don't know how anyone could stay there and draw. Chloe's drawing was magnificent! It was too hot to ask you to explain your drawing even though I wanted to. I thought I could ask you later. Thanks for sharing this post--I knew the piece held a lot of meaning for you!

Anonymous said...

Blue star in a circle? Reminds me of a Sheriff or Texas Ranger, not the o-cult. ;-)
Lara