Alchemy/Mother of Pearl

When I began this painting I thought it was a landscape. There was a large emerald hill in the middle, with a sky above and a reflective sea below. It was calming and almost pretty but there was no meaning. It was flat. Cody said so, too.

As I sat staring at it from the love seat one morning, it dawned on me to get up and turn the whole thing upside down. Then I began to like it. Still thinking it was a landscape, I added more color. I painted the neapolitan sky and reflection. (First time to paint in the new studio!)

Then Cody hosted a poker party. UJ and I talked about a painting he wants to commission. (He still asks about this one.) This conversation gave me the idea to add resist and wash the whole thing with more blue.

Last night I added some silver, peeled off the resist, and then stared at it from my hammock. I began thinking about a conversation my fairy-godmother aunt Korrene and I have been having for years. Something other than a landscape began to emerge. I saw the mother-of-pearl, and immediately knew what was missing. I painted a pearl. I snapped the photo and put it on the blog. I then noticed some of the underlying silver interfered with the pearl in light...and that annoyed me...but I went to bed thinking I would fix it in the coming weeks.

(Photo with flash to highlight the silver)

This morning I awoke to a realization I was never conscious of while painting: this painting is also a shiny window. I will not be "fixing" the interference.

I believe tears can turn to silver. I believe a tumbling grain of sand can grow into a pearl. The process is rich. It is scary and beautiful and certain.

It is why I do not wait to love.

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Yesterday, from me to my aunt: "Also, when you read The Alchemist, wasn't it cool that the boy didn't even know what an alchemist was while he was becoming one? The treasure was always nearby and yet years and miles away. To you, I have always been Pearl. I remember you asked me once, "How will you know it when you become Pearl?" I did not know (or I thought I did!, which makes me smile now)...and still you proceeded to call me Pearl right away. You always knew...and so much of your belief has empowered me. I am still being formed, shaped...made Pearl...and yet I know I am already Pearl. This realization and presence is rich and freeing."

Yesterday, from my aunt to me: "The beautiful thing about consciously living life is that one embraces the beginnings, the middles, and the endings, and learnings never stop especially the learnings about oneself. I am so glad that you are seeing who you are and what is possible because of who you are."